I will not immortalize this moment. But DAMN, who knew it would feel like this!

Talked to him. Feeling alone now more than ever. 

I feel like I'm legit, just letting this wither away. It doesn't feel good, but seems like it just has to happen. I'm not depressed, but I am bored...and lonely...and disappointed as hell. 💔

Screaming into the infinite abyss 

How can I be in a relationship and yet feel so lonely?

Dear Quentin

I have never been more disappointed in anyone than I am in you right now. This is exactly the reason why I keep to myself and don't want to let anyone in. You've broken my heart and I can't say I don't hate you for it. All I can do now is start unravelling my feelings. Start from scratch and learn how to forget you. I've let myself obsess and dream about a future with you. I feel like an idiot now. But you warned me about your tendencies early on...I should have listened. Image from https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b1/87/65/b187653bc8cf5437e7dc0663bbea3081.jpg.

I really hate putting this out into the universe, but I feel like soon I'm gonna be gone. 

Karma...

That bitch!

This is all of me that I have to leave behind. I don't know what the future holds and quite frankly, I don't care. I'm so tired of my anxiety and constant self doubt. I'm pretty sure this is all karma. I really wish I had more to add to this journal except pain. One thing I do want to say though: I love you Q, but I'm not sure that we can even be friends at this point....

I feel like crying. Why am I feeling so lonely right now?

All I can think about....is you. Everything else is just background noise. 

Apple of my eye

18 months!!

I'm ready to be unplugged from the Matrix, please. 

I can't believe I'm back here. Just in case something terrible happens to me, I want you guys to know that I love you. 

Especially you!

I feel like killing myself. I can't tell anyone though. Being a mom is super fucking hard. I'm terrified!

Happy 3 months, Harper

I can't believe how big you're getting, darling!

<3 <3

My chunky monkey is getting so big :)

"Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside you bliss. Everyday I love you more and more. "

I love my braids!!

Last twist out before I put the yarn braids back in!

Happy 2 mo. Harper!

After having a baby, I don't care much about being clever or cynical or the smartest/humblest person in the room anymore. I'm no longer I interested in "cool" things, nor am I on the search for all things "awesome". She's cool. She's awesome. Harper!

Happy Valentines Day

I heart you!

Harper Analeigh O'Heath, the new love of my life. Born December 23, 2012. 6lbs 8oz 19in

?

I feel like screaming and crying. How am I going to make it through this????