Im always find myself, sitting here trying to think of something great to say. But everytime I open my mouth my words have an consistent empty substance. I continue to wonder why that is. I thought I was bright enough to let intellegent words flow from my mouth and onto this screen or into my book, but, I've now come to realize that I'm not. Only you are. I now see that those who speak real truth and wisdom are only being used by you. These are not completely their words, but the words you have blessed them with. I always marvel at these individuals, attributing their wise words to some personal internal strength, a strength that doesnt come from you, which is untrue. They are yours and you are theirs.
Oh savior, I wish for you to use me in this way. Even now I fear that my words are empty. That my plea is lacking something genuine. Please tell me that it isnt. My savior I long to confess the words of submission. Why dont I. Is there any way you can invite yourself in and work a miracle? My mother was right. I expect results without putting in any effort. Whats wrong with me? Please take my life. Take my pain. I want to dance with you again. I dont want to be a baby anymore. Please.
Happy Easter - I wrote this 10 years ago, and didn't post it. I see why. I am not traumatized by religion. I have never had an experience within the church that turned me...
3 months ago