After much crying and brief reflection I have come to this somber conclusion. You can only expect people to treat you as well as you treat yourself. You can not expect for them to see the beauty in you. You must see it in yourself first. You must demand respect even though you dont feel you deserve it.
The reason why this is somber to me is because my whole life Ive been treated as though I was the most servile and disgusting creature on earth. And now I see thats because I didn't give two shits about myself.
I must demand respect even if I'm scared. Even from those I love.