Wednesday, November 28, 2007

So, its official. Im taking next semester off to work full time and settle my debts. Ive never had a job before, and Im terrified. I have this ridiculous fear of failure. Freshmen year I turned that fear into a Self_Fulfilling Prophecy and flunked out. I can't let this happen this time. It doesnt take a genius to work at Target, lol. And its ok if I mess up. Thats what training is for. I need to start looking for a job now actually. Ive been putting it off, fooling my self by staying busy with my studies. I have been doing my best this semester though. My grades may be as follows: Stats-A; Social Psyc-A; Thinking-A; Brain-A or B; German-B. Thats the best Ive ever done and Im so proud of myself. Ugh, I hate when I babble on like this. Im gonna stop right here and go on to something else.
I dont know whats going on, but lately (the past 2 months or so) I havent been moved by sound. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am in love with music, I am addicted to sound. Good sound. Pure sound. But for some reason--not anymore. I figured it was a stage i was going though; Im too busy, or too involved with Patrick, but now that things have slowed down, my music habits havent picked up. Im not worried, or even concerned. Im just waiting until it will come back to me. And i wont force myself to listen to it, because then it wouldnt be pure love. Am I making any sense? Lol, this is why I dont write. I just end up confusing myself.


PJ said...

Hmnmm. Thought I posted on here -- I may have commented on your post on somebody else's blog!!!! Duh!!

Okay. I said, (more or less). Your poetry speaks from the heart. you have talent. Professors are asking for essays. "It's too short" could be the essayists (teacher's) response to the poet. Poets speak in compact language, conveying meaning and emotion in powerful bullet like lines. An essayist conveys meaning in a more gentle venue, using more words, explaining, etc. If your gift is poetic, essays will be difficult for you. Enjoy your gift!!! Your poetry is powerful. It's speaking across generations -- from you, to me. (Just a thought. . . You're obviously very creative. . . Hope this encourages you!)


PJ said...

P.S. I'm not saying don't write essays. Just take a look at your giftedness and work from there.